Äíåâíèê Ñóìàñøåäøåãî 1191

Âëàäèìèð Ñâåòàøåâ
12620

11:08am.
The third amazing morning in succession! I had a feeling, after publishing my first edited video yesterday, as if it were a poem. Very badly written poem, but a poem! It reminded me of certain forgotten feelings that I had after writing and publishing some of my poems. There is also one more element which makes me excited. After I’d made this video, I realized that all my ideas, everything I’ve learned during all these years of studies, might be converted into this type of content. I have no doubts that my writings and even self-talks contain a lot of wisdom, but for an average person it’s gonna be almost impossible to decipher it. However, if I learn to make short videos using various tricks to capture the average man’s attention, the probability of transcending this wisdom beyond my personal experience raises tremendously. It took me just a couple of days to write a script, find lots of clips and pictures to make that script vivid, memorize the lines, record the video, edit and finally release it. What if I worked on every video for a week as I was working on every speaking club? What if a invest a month in a preparation?
Today, I’ve already had a few great ideas for a new video. One of them, obviously, is thinking in English pros and cons. The other is sort of an invitation for the members of my speaking club to get to my youtube channel, watch my videos and give me some feedback. I guess I’ll write this invitation in a form of a letter first.
I’ve also set up a new goal, which is 1000 subs, which is a part of my bigger goal to get $10, 000 of income. I think I need to structure my goals into a hierarchy and divide my attention between them respectively. It seems as if I’m beginning a new life; it’s really puzzling for me why I didn’t come up with an idea to make such videos before. One of the reasons was probably that there were no editorial apps available for free, and I was perfectly happy with what I’d been doing. I thought that all I needed to do was learning how to think and work with new information. I was learning to get only valuable information, making many filters to block anything of low quality. Sometime, of course, these filters didn’t work, but on average I was quite satisfied. In terms of creating content, I relied fully on writing and improvisational, unrestricted, so-called free speech, which turned out to be not sufficient to penetrate the group mind to any meaningful degree. Anyway, now, I see so many promising paths to move on. The next video is gonna be way better than this one. I still haven’t decided yet what’s gonna be its subject, but there is no point to rush.

13:10pm.
The first thing I’ve done today was writing a “business letter”. Here is its text: “Hello, X, what’s going on? It’s been a while since we met at the speaking club. I had a lot of free time to learn how to edit videos and prepared almost an entire English course bringing together linguistics, psychology, philosophy and my experience of working with the club. You’ve probably watched a couple of my videos where I might’ve been talking to myself to practice English. What I’m doing now is totally different. All previous stuff were just raw materials that I used mostly for myself. Recently, I decided to make valuable content to build my channel on youtube, sharing what I’ve learned with people who are interested in that. So if you do me a favor and subscribe to my channel, I’ll very much appreciate it. And if you suddenly make a repost of the video I sent to you, helping me attract public attention, I also wouldn’t mind.”
Now, I’m gonna write a script for another video. It’s gonna be a video about communication.
 
Communication vs Thinking
Why do people love money? Why do they value money above everything else? Hey, isn’t this video about communication and thinking? And why it begins with so many questions? Isn’t it not enough to ask just one question to arouse curiosity? C’mon! I’m serious, where are the answers? Have I come here just to listen to stupid questions? Do I not have my own questions to bother anyone around?
We’ve all been taught how to communicate with other people. Communication, in one form or the other, is an essential part of our lives. The better we are at communication, the easier our life is supposed to be. Okay, what if all of this is wrong? What if communication actually makes us dumber and the more we communicate with people, the fewer chances we have to succeed in whatever we’re doing? You know, we’re living in the world which is totally different from anything human beings have experienced since they became self-conscious…

Now, I need some data to make the point that the internet split our world into at least two different parts, one of which was the extension of the previously “separated” mind.
I’ve made a free account on globalwebindex.com. Damn it! Under a free account, it’s impossible to get almost anything. Do I really need all these specific data? I mean, I can look at any research in any specific area without being subscribed to any site, getting what I need in a direct way without being distracted by countless opportunities available on every corner online. Back to the script.

The internet consumes almost half of the time while we’re awake. The information that we put in our heads every day, for the most part, comes from people who compete for our attention on the lines of this invisible global network. Sometimes, it’s just one person, whose words inspired us at the moment when we needed inspiration, and now we come back to get more. Sometimes, it’s a group of individuals working on a creative project. Sometimes, it’s even a whole corporation, which knows us better than we do know ourselves, and manipulates our instincts to sell us its useless products…

4:40pm.
I think I need a pause. I’ll go nuts working all day long. Meanwhile, I got three new subs, and one member of my club reposted the video.

7:12pm.
Had a walk and after getting back, watched random videos about voice improvement and things like that. Comparing myself with professional youtubers, feel ashamed and hopeless. The quality of my videos is awful and the way I talk to the camera seems so unnatural. Yet, it gives me a lot of energy to change myself for the better. I’m getting convinced more and more that sooner or later everyone will be forced somehow to make a personal youtube channel. I think this field of research has a big potential. If English is one of the most popular things people want to learn, a youtube channel and the skills required to make it are constantly increasing in value. And there is no “academy” or “science” teaching how to do it. I guess there is no more than 0.01 % of the population in our town who uploads something on youtube. The majority of people are afraid of doing that because videos in their minds are associated with celebrities, so that overwhelming banality of their lives doesn’t look as something worth being shared or published. Many people live in dreadful silence, never allowing their voices to be heard. However, times are changing. Youtube channels are houses of people’s minds. It’s also a place of great competition, so making a channel involves the fear of being ignored, ridiculed, attacked, etc., which may develop into all kinds of pathologies. For example, someone makes a channel hoping that his friends and acquaintances are gonna pay attention to what he does, write comments, share his videos, provide feedback, but in reality nobody gives a fuck. Then this guy may easily fall into belief that he’s a lonely, useless, asshole. Am I this guy? Always trying to get wisdom form everywhere and share it, but all eyes stare at well-decorated, noisy fools. Does it bother me? I can make great videos without being followed by millions. In fact, I need to focus not on what other people want, but on what many wise men, including myself, have thought is important and valuable. This is what I've been doing for all these years, though I obviously failed to organize my experience into an easily comprehended system. I’m trying to compete with world-class champions sitting at my local apartment, having no investments, no resources, but only my peculiar wisdom and time. Two the most powerful things in the world! Hey, maybe I’m putting too much weight into the prejudice of being unreasonably cautious while playing with the crowd? It’s nice to be alone and do whatever is working, but when it comes down to going to the market place and sharing our goods which no one wants to buy, in spite of the fact that we’ve been suffering for more than a decade to mine them—
It all sounds too weak as if I were complaining. Is it true?

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